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Incoming BYTES
contains highly variable subject matter including commentary on the mundane, the extraordinary and even controversial issues. At Incoming BYTES
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Sunday, February 5, 2012

Technology is Wonderful: Macaroni in the Printer

With endless and wondrous developments in computers, peripherals and wonderful gadget technology,  I-Pods, I-Pads, I-phones and " I-everything" one would think by now office equipment would be "I-fail" -- fail-safe, that is, close to infallible.   Much perfection, made in China,  and indestructible. Press the button, it goes. Maybe.
Computers, label-makers, printers, you name it.  All perfect, enough to make one itch for more new overpriced junk with buttons to press.
The Old Paper Chute

From a birds-eye view, stuff works  pretty well. at least until the day after the warranty expires.  All of the little common-sense safeguards are installed that might be expected. All of the impossible little quirks should be ironed out, too,  no?
No.  They forgot one.   How do we know that?  We got macaroni in the printer. 

Printers have a nice little chute for paper. Ah, you say-- the paper chute, that's where the paper is supposed to go.
  That's where the paper did go. The paper with the macaroni on it.

Fan a sheaf of paper, stick it in the old paper chute, press the "Go" button, and oooh, la la!--  out comes the printing in perfect condition. Documents, 18ppm, black or in colour.   Copies of beautiful art even.  
Not so.  Why?  The printer jammedIt got macaroni in it. The high-tech message screen blinks.  It says "Paper Jamb"  but we know differently. It's a macaroni-jamb.  The machine isn't that smart. At the very minimum the little screen should say " Remove pasta or other foreign objects and press "Reset".   
No matter, maybe they'll think of that important improvement for the new, improved model.

It is a wonderful little piece of artwork, the  nouveau-artiste-child-genius kind, the 4-year-old child variety that Grandmother's collect, faithfully sticking them on  corkboard walls in a medly of escapism  with I-love-Grandma valentine hearts,  big smiles and sharp little coloured tacks.
Macaroni art;  stuff  the hungry dreams of  Michelangelo were made of as he painted the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel just before lunch.

Displaying  such treasures boldly  on walls designates  the artist's accomplishment a creation worthy of  admiration by all --and creates immense happiness. The little artist with paint and glue on his face stands back, hands on hips,  and admires it with pride, a grin and knowing look in his eye.  We know how to make copies.

Macaroni Art

 Macaroni art --glue, macaroni, rice,  pinto beans, spaghetti, more rice, barley,  a sprinkle of colour-- lentils and such, coupled with a creative set of little hands  and finger paint, makes a memorable piece of art. Heavy art. Easily dissembled art.

How do we know all that? It must hate tacks.  It  plans escapes and jumps off of corkboard walls right into paper chutes. That's it.

Now the printer doesn't work.

Not willing to dismiss the  complexities of  technology,  the genius micro-artist can't quite complete his next creation, the one he  has already drawn on the computer, which is hooked onto a cable.   On the end of the cable, we already know, there is a printer.
We press the button and expect it to work but it doesn't.  The paper won't go in the chute. Why?  It's got macaroni in it. 
Not the gummy  'KD' kind with cheese.  Not cooked.  Not Mac and Cheese himself.  Just ordinary, off-the-wall-double-back-flip- into the-paper chute macaroni, the elbow kind.  The kind that crunches when you turn the printer on.

We might  have to get a new one.
Oh well, the cartridge was no good anyway and at Incoming Bytes our astute  readers don't have to guess it's the day after the warranty runs out.  That figures.  It's probably  just as well. I don't think warranties cover macaroni in the printer anyway.  They'll send the bill with the new one.  

Wonder what I'll have for lunch. Mac and cheese?

Is that incoming I hear?


  1. hahaha... Yep Mac and Cheese. You said it. I laughed so much when I read about the Macaroni doing a double flip into the paper chute.

    You write so well, that your message gets across with added humor. Loved this post. :)

    1. Hi Mandy, thanks for the great compliments. I'm glad it made you smile, in retrospect it was kind of funny even though the printer didn't work so well...":) p.s. We did get it working finally!

  2. Oh, dear! And here I was lamenting not having a grandchild yet! LOL, good that you can laugh about it now, but I dare say there may have been some choice naughty words flying about beforehand. Mac and cheese is a fitting choice...get your revenge anyway you can! ;-)

    1. Glory, funny things happen don't they--even if they're annoying. Choice words like " blue Mac and Cheese" were flying. ":)
      Thanks for visiting! ":)

  3. Well Raymond now I am craving a big bowl of macaroni and cheese! Hehe I can just imagine your frustration over the printer not working, but I'm glad you got a blog post out of it!! Now that's the spirit, you wonderful writer you! The post made me laugh, and that's a good thing!

    1. Christyb, this really is a great way to look at everything isn't it. It was actually kind of funny and it did turn out well. I got the macaroni out eventually. I'm happy to see it made people laugh. Mac and cheese for you --just for commenting, Christyb! ":)

  4. Smiled at this one Raymond.... shuuuuuush.... mine is working ok at the moment.. shuuush..... we have a history..... of me and printers not mixing well.. shussssssh!... softly softly I whisper...... As I have some more printing that I need to do tomorrow! :-)

    1. Sue, the trick is not to let any contrary printer see this article. Macaroni in the printer is contagious. These machines will use any excuse to get out of work. Shhhsshshhh....Good luck with your printing..and thanks for visiting! ":)) ~R
      p.s. Have Mac and cheese for lunch, that throws them off the trail every time.. ":)

  5. my youngest child used to put playing cards in the floppy drive back in the day. Her sister didn't like tortellini and used to hide the uneaten ones behind the radiator, when our backs were turned. We had no idea that she didn't eat them until we turned on the heat and the maggots crawled out...gross! Macaroni in the printer is almost as bad :)

  6. Love your sence of humour!... The printing went with out a hitch.. But I ran out of ink.. but just managed to get what I wanted done.. so Mums the word... shussssh! :-)

  7. @ Katley, that IS gross isn't it! Thanks for visiting!

    @ Lorre, noodle art comes naturally to creative kids of all ages ! Great to see you here! ~R

    @ Sue, thank you, it seems we do require a sense of humour to survive. I'm glad the printing went without a hitch. Oops..out of ink. That figures, it's almost as bad as having macaroni stuck in the poor thing isn't it! ":)

  8. Never thought I would come across anything which would make me appreciate a macaroni necklace.


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